My personality has always been one where I am always striving for better...more...perfection. It is no surprise that I have been the same way with my running....always striving for a moving target. I cross a finish line and look to the next...reach a time goal and want it faster...hit a distance and want to go further. Is it good to have goals set for yourself and focus to reach them? I think it is but there is always a sacrifice that comes along with it.
I wear many hats in my life...wife, mom, daughter, sister, teacher, runner, friend, blogger, ambassador...but there have been times when some of the hats I've been wearing have come at a cost to others. I always strive to be the best at each thing that I do...which is a strength but can stretch me very thin leaving some of my most treasured hats looking tattered and worn. By striving to go further, faster, more I have found myself at times with little to give as a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend....This has caused me to look really hard at my goals...at what REALLY matters in these moments and if my actions are reflecting this.
The runner in me wants to do it all...run a sub 1:50 half, run another marathon, run all the races all the time...but the wife and mom in me wants to look back on these years and not see time I wish I could get back. I want my daughters to see what a healthy mom/woman looks like but I also want them to know without a doubt that the are a priority in my life. I want my husband to have a wife that is healthy and happy but I also want him to never doubt that he is #1! More than anything...above the prs and weight loss...I want my actions to reflect my heart's priorities.
This has been a back and forth struggle for me...I know where my heart's desires are but I also love that feeling of setting a goal and working my ass off to get there. I am coming to a place in the year when I have more time...summer is on it's way (even though looking outside today you wouldn't know it) and with that brings me time...time to put my money where my mouth is. I have two choices...I can set yet another goal knowing I have the time to work, or I can use it to make it a summer my girls will treasure...one that I will look back at in September and know it was full....full of memories that we all will treasure!
Will I hit the roads this summer early as the sun is coming up? YES! Will I work hard to earn the body I want? YES!! But there will also be days spent just being...letting moments happen...sitting on the back deck watching fire flies sipping wine...without a thought of pace or mileage. It will be a full summer...a full life!
Do you struggle to want it all? How do you make it all fit?
I just work to WANT the ALL I HAVE!!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to fit it all in and I can see you struggling to fit it all in perfectly as well. It's just the sort of thing us crazy runner types do. I think you're doing great and the fact that you are assessing means that you are only going to get better at doing what is most important to you. :)
ReplyDeleteEverything in moderation and in balance! Over here in South Africa my struggle is to keep up my workout routine - its our winter, so its dark when you get up and dark before you get home from work, and cold - which makes it harder to stay motivated in exercising!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard sometimes and I find that there is always something that has to give. Right now I am happy with not running anything longer than a half marathon so I can spend that time with my kids instead. I also have cut way back on my blogging time lately and have been soaking up the extra time with my kids.
ReplyDeleteI want it aaaaallllll. I do the best I can and enjoy the things I do end up doing and the things I do have! :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you and struggle with this all of the time. I plan to take it easy for the summer with the races but still get some runs in to keep my fitness level. It is very hard to juggle family and fitness. I think you are doing a great job and it is always important to be aware of how you do it.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteTrying to balance it all out is so tough. I don't know how you do it with little girls and a full time job. What you accomplish each week amazes me.
ReplyDeleteThe struggle is real. There are days where I feel like I'm squeezing everything into the very last minute possible. But then there are days where I just "let it go" and play Wii with my girls and cuddle. Sometime balance comes in different forms.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with this stuff all the time - so many things I want/need to do but at the end of the day, spending quality time with my boys and husband is the one that I hope always trumps!!!
ReplyDeleteAs I start another training cycle for a goal race I was just thinking about this. I know it will be at the expense of one of my other hats but I don't want it to be. I don't want to give anything up. Right below my family (who is always at the top) it's all important and a priority. As I type this I'm realizing it can't be. I have to find my main focus and succeed or make everything my main focus and not accomplish my goal. I've learned from experience. Training mistakes.
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