Friday, January 15, 2016

Gaining Control....and Letting Go

I have started to think more about the goals that I have for this year.  One that I have that is particularly close to me and I know will take the year and then some is gaining control of my eating and learning to let go when I veer off course.

I'm not going to lie and say I've always had a healthy relationship with food.  I've honestly been at points where food was the enemy....and then it was a comfort....and then back to being the bad guy again!  I remember my father saying to our family one day that he ate to live and we lived to eat. Food certainly has had a far larger place in my life than I would care to say.  Over this past year I have had times where my eating was out of control...I would do great for breakfast and lunch and then get home and eat all the food in sight in the matter of 10 minutes.  I went on radical diets where food was labeled good and bad....and honestly when I ate the "bad" foods I thought of myself as bad. It certainly has not been a year where food and I have been friends.  My weight fluctuated just 10 pounds throughout the year but when you're 5'3" 10 lbs makes a big difference.

I need to get control of this up and down and honestly when I look forward to this time next year I want to see a person who eats to fuel her body...who isn't a prisoner to cravings...who doesn't feel the immense weight of guilt each time she has a "treat".  One way I am doing this is by starting off with Laura's January Reset.  We are 5 days in and I feel so much better than I have in a while!  For me this reset hasn't been about weight loss (which has been my focus in the past) but about learning what foods work for me and how to really fuel my body with foods that are going to make it work better.  I'm learning about my training as a runner and how I've pushed my body in a way that it is holding on to fat.  I'm learning how to let go of the emotions tied to food.  I'm excited to see just how much more I can learn in the next few weeks!

I know that this journey will not be a straight line....there will be bumps in the road...I have spent a large portion of my life accruing all this baggage around food and I'm sure there will be a few bags that are going to be hard to put down since I have grown so used to them...but I know like I said's Worth the Challenge!!!

1 comment:

  1. The struggle with food is so real! I feel like every time I get on track someone sends caramel rolls to our house or like Saturday my mother in law feeds us hot dogs and mac and cheese, I really wanted to not eat lunch but I didn't want to be rude either, ugh but you just feel like crap afterwards! It is worth the challenge though and I think as we get older it only gets more challenging! I am noticing that any way, it just seems harder than it used to.