Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Rounding Out a Decade

Monday was my 39th birthday.  I went out for a run yesterday morning and started thinking about the last decade of my life and about how I wanted that decade to end.  I began my 30s feeling the same way I do today...I'm discouraged with how I look/feel...I'm in the worst shape I have been in since I was 30 (I had my oldest child just weeks before I turned 30)...I'm embarrassed.  I began this decade as a new mom.  I have spent this decade of life growing our family...literally in my body.  I have carried 4 babies, one of which we will meet one day in heaven.  I have gained 50+lbs three times.  I have stretched my stomach, and unfortunately the rest of my body, to sizes I didn't know it could reach!  I have had surgery three times to meet our beautiful babies.  I have also lost 60+lbs twice....battled postpartum depression twice and am currently doing so again.  To say I have challenged my body during this decade would be an understatement!!

As I was running along, it got me thinking about what I wanted this year to I want it to be an extension of the blah that I have been feeling lately (overweight and exhausted) or do I want this last year of 30 to be an exclamation point on a decade of physical challenges?  I choose the later!!  I choose that I am going to end this decade with an exclamation point!  I will NOT let depression win!  I will NOT quit trying to get back into shape!  I will NOT just quit...I can do this!!!  Here is a picture from one of my first big races after having my oldest...
I was petrified because it was a big race full of a million and one hills.  I chose this picture to reflect on because I am about 9 months postpartum in this picture...2 months more than I am right now.  I chose this picture to motivate me.  No I wasn't in the shape I wanted to be in but DAMN I was a lot closer than I am today!!  Taking short steps, my first goal is to be in this place in 2 March my goal is to be here! 

Don't you worry....I have another picture for the next 3 months!!!

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